The other day, I was sitting by the water with a friend, listening to music and enjoying the sight of seals floating by close to the shore. Have you ever noticed how seals seem to live so effortlessly? I've heard that seals have sensitive ears (yes, they actually have ears!) and wondered if they were curious about our music. Seals, often referred to as "dogs of the sea," are usually easy-going and good-natured.
Seals are a great example of not sweating the small stuff. They hunt for food at night, and their thick blubber layer stores energy, allowing them to go for extended periods without eating. Despite their density, they float through the water with absolute ease and always look like they’re having fun. They can be out of the water for up to 12 hours at a time but only sleep an average of 2 hours per day. They hang out on rocks, reefs, and beaches to regulate their body temperature, molt, interact with other seals, and nurse their pups. What strikes me most about seals is how unconcerned they are with “image-management.” They float and flop around with no care whatsoever about their body size or shape and couldn’t care less what anyone thinks of them. They seem to live a life of ease for the most part. This got me thinking about my own life. Since I’ve come to understand that we all live in our own thought-created reality and that our feelings are generated from our thoughts, life has gotten a whole lot simpler. The ease of this has been wonderful yet somewhat unsettling. I spent so much of my life unknowingly addicted to struggle. I didn’t know any other way. I had just accepted that this is how life is. Now that I know there is another way to experience life and that I have a lot more choices than I thought, my life feels a lot less difficult and dramatic. The way people act feels a lot less personal. Life is still challenging in some ways, but overall, it’s so much easier. Part of me is incredibly grateful and relieved about this, but another part objects to all of this ease. Part of me just doesn’t trust that things can be this easy. Living in the flow of life more and more feels like floating in the water, as opposed to climbing a mountain, so this has been a huge adjustment. It’s mind-boggling to see how much I was overcomplicating everything and the extra heaviness I was adding to my load. I notice myself still being attracted to stressful situations from time to time out of habit, but with more awareness am able to reset my nervous system much quicker. It makes sense that the more time I spend living in the flow, the more comfortable it will feel, and the less I will find myself flopping around out of the water and unnecessarily gravitating back into high-stress situations. Just like those carefree seals, I’m learning to let go, trust the process, and let it be easy. Thank you for joining me on this journey of discovery and ease. Sometimes the hardest part is letting go of the struggle and allowing life to be as easy as it can be. Take a page from the seals’ book: float, relax, and enjoy the flow. Have you ever taken a fall out on a rooted trail or found yourself tumbling down a metaphorical rabbit hole? It stings, doesn’t it? And not just physically—it bruises your pride. It’s not supposed to happen, right?
When we were kids, falling was a daily occurrence, and we didn’t think much of it. The ground was closer, and our bodies were more forgiving. But somewhere along the line, falling became a source of embarrassment. We were expected to know how to avoid it, to catch ourselves if we tripped, and to blame any stumble on obstacles in our way. Recently, I experienced a metaphorical fall that led me into a spiral of stressful thoughts. Earlier this year, I underwent a profound awakening—a monumental shift in consciousness that turned everything I thought I knew upside down. If you’ve ever had such an experience, you know how disorienting it can be. My understanding of life and the life force that animates us all was drastically altered. This shift ushered in what I can only describe as a mountaintop experience: a month of unparalleled peace and wellbeing. My mind was completely quiet. The idea of binge eating felt absurd. I experienced a freedom I had never known and believed I would never binge again. After years of struggling up the proverbial mountain, navigating endless switchbacks, sliding back in the mud, and falling off cliffs, it felt like I had finally found a path that propelled me effortlessly upward. It was as if a gondola had appeared out of nowhere, lifting me off a heavily rooted trail and into a peak experience. Day after day, I lived in this blissful state, feeling it was my new normal. The skies were always blue, the sun always shining, and only puffy white clouds drifted through my mind. But this wasn’t a permanent state. The insight I gained was just a beginning—a glimpse of what’s possible. Life on the mountaintop isn’t sustainable for most. The air is thinner, and it’s lonely at such high altitudes of consciousness. Ignoring the option of the gondola, I returned to the rooted trail of my overactive mind and fell into a binge hole again. It wasn’t as severe as before—nothing broke, but there were bruises, and bandages were required. Binge eating activates deep feelings of discouragement and shame in me. I thought I was cured, but it turns out I wasn’t. What now? If I can’t claim 100% freedom from binge eating, how can I help others overcome their unwanted habits? My mind raced with stressful thoughts. I didn’t tell anyone at first—shame and embarrassment kept me silent. I imagined my fellow hikers, with whom I had been trudging a wide but arduous path, expecting me to fail since I had taken a different route. When I finally shared my experience with them, I discovered they were rooting for my success all along. Thankfully, I have an amazing coach who helped me see what I couldn’t on my own. She reminded me that perfection isn’t a prerequisite for being of service and that my struggles will likely only make me a better coach. In coaching, many set themselves up as experts, painting themselves into a corner of inauthenticity. Life is a journey, and the concept of arrival is a mirage. The last thing I want is to present a false image. Authenticity is crucial for my clients and for my own growth. Life is unpredictable, ever-changing. We cannot map it out perfectly. Hindsight is 20/20, but the future remains a mystery, unfolding one step at a time. In my enthusiasm, I got ahead of myself, claiming I was cured of binge eating. The truth is, I’m not out of the woods yet. I can’t promise a permanent mountaintop experience. But through my coaching, what is on offer is a deeper understanding, peace, freedom, and joy than you’ve probably ever experienced. I still get caught up in stressful thinking, just like everyone else. I’m learning to accept this as part of the human experience and to take it less seriously. Each time it happens, I learn something new about myself, and my internal GPS recalculates. Yours does too. Thank you for joining me on this journey. Remember, falling is part of life. It’s not the fall that defines us, but how we rise and learn from it. Venturing into the serene confines of a local wildlife reserve yesterday, as usual, I found myself immersed in a world of captivating sights and profound revelations. Surrounded by delightful companions, we whiled away the hours in animated conversation, punctuated by moments of silent awe as we observed the intricate dance of nature's avian inhabitants. Yet amidst the beauty of the landscape, there is a peculiar phenomenon – the deceptive allure of distant objects, morphing mundane debris into fantastical creatures until closer inspection reveals their true nature.
Equipped with telescopic devices, each of us sought to unravel the mysteries concealed within the wilderness. Yet it was the remarkable clarity afforded by a fellow explorer's high-end binoculars that truly astounded me, offering a lens through which the world unfolded with unparalleled precision. As I reflect upon our shared experience of zooming in on the minutiae of nature, I am struck by a profound parallel to the journey of self-discovery that has consumed much of my adult life. Like a relentless seeker, I had devoted countless hours to scrutinizing the intricacies of my perceived flaws, laboring under the belief that I was irreparably broken, fundamentally different from those around me. Driven by this distorted self-image, I embarked on a relentless quest for self-improvement, voraciously devouring every technique and tool in a desperate bid to mend my perceived deficiencies. Yet beneath the veneer of progress lay a gnawing sense of exhaustion, a relentless cycle of striving and stagnation that left me perpetually ensnared in the quagmire of my past traumas and unresolved conflicts. Amidst the turmoil of my inner landscape, I sought solace in the sanctuary of spiritual theories, using them as a temporary reprieve from the relentless pursuit of self-improvement. Yet in my eagerness to transcend the mundane, I unwittingly fell prey to the pitfalls of spiritual bypassing, using lofty ideals as a shield against the discomfort of my own humanity. In the dichotomy of zooming in versus zooming out, I found myself grappling with the elusive quest for truth – a truth that defied binary categorization, encompassing the complexity of both perspectives. It was only through this nuanced understanding that I began to unravel the layers of my mistaken identity, realizing that beneath the veneer of brokenness lay a profound reservoir of wholeness and peace. As I journey inward, I discover a beautifully tranquil oasis within, a space untouched by the ceaseless chatter of the mind – a space that resonates with the timeless rhythm of life itself. Though the tumult of my thoughts still threatens to obscure the serenity within, I am learning to embrace them as fleeting clouds in the vast expanse of my consciousness, allowing them to drift in and out with effortless grace. In the wilderness of my own being, I have found a homecoming unlike any other – a sanctuary where the tumult of the world fades into insignificance, and the essence of my true self shines forth with radiant clarity. And as I continue to navigate the ever-changing landscape of existence, I take solace in the timeless wisdom of nature, knowing that amidst the chaos and uncertainty, the path to peace lies within. In the heart of nature, amid the tranquil scenes of a nearby trail leading to a serene pond, a fascinating spectacle unfolds with each passing season. My neighbor Jan and I have become avid observers of the intricate dance of life played out by the Canada geese and their fellow feathered companions. But it is during mating and nesting season that the true drama of nature unfolds before our eyes.
The geese, usually living harmoniously among themselves and other creatures, undergo a remarkable change in attitude during this time. The ganders enter a state of heightened protectiveness over their space and kin. It's a sight both comical and awe-inspiring to behold as they puff up their chests, bob their heads, and hiss with all the theatrics of a seasoned performer. Their determination to safeguard their territory is palpable, their commitment unwavering. Yet, beneath the surface of this avian spectacle lies a profound reflection of our own psyche. As I watch these creatures fiercely defend their nests, it's impossible not to see parallels with the protective mechanisms ingrained within us. Like the geese, our brains are hardwired to ensure our survival, to keep us safe from perceived threats. But what happens when this instinctual drive veers off course, when our minds become entangled in a web of fears and anxieties spun from past traumas? I find myself pondering the nature of our internal programming, how our brains, like intricate software, can sometimes glitch, connecting dots that don't truly align. The result? A constant state of hypervigilance, where every corner hides a potential danger, every interaction a possible threat. It's a relentless cycle, one that robs us of the joys and pleasures that life has to offer. Yet, amidst this tumult, there comes a moment of clarity, a series of insights that lift us out of the swirling chaos of our survival brain. We come to realize that our happiness cannot be entrusted solely to the whims of our analytical mind. Yes, our brains excel at keeping us alive, but they lack the capacity for true fulfillment and contentment. They are but passengers on the journey of our lives, not the captains of our destiny. In this newfound understanding, we discover a wellspring of power, a source of creativity and wellbeing that transcends the limitations of our rational mind. It's a force as ancient as the earth itself, guiding seeds to sprout into towering trees and eggs to hatch into wondrous creatures. And within each of us, it whispers softly, "You are safe. You are loved. You are enough." For true safety, we need not look to external circumstances or fortify our defenses like the ganders on the pond. Instead, we must turn inward, quieting the noise of our minds to listen to the gentle reassurance of our inner sanctuary. It's a place of boundless potential, where fear gives way to trust, and anxiety yields to peace. So, as Jan and I pass by the vigilant gander on our trail, we offer our silent reassurance, our words of love and encouragement. "We're not here to harm you," we say, "only to witness your beauty and cheer you on as you thrive." And in that moment, amidst the rustling reeds and gentle breeze, we find a fleeting glimpse of harmony, both in nature and within ourselves. Dear Friends,
Life has a way of throwing unexpected challenges our way, shaping us in the process. My journey has been a testament to this truth—a journey marked by trauma, addiction, and the relentless pursuit of healing and transformation. I've walked a path laden with hardships from a young age. Raised in a strict, religious environment where fear and rigidity were the norm, I learned early on to navigate a world fraught with impossible standards and looming consequences. Traumatic events peppered my childhood, leaving me feeling unsafe and insecure, seeking solace in the fleeting comfort of large amounts of sweet and starchy foods. In my teens, rebellion took hold, leading me down a tumultuous path of cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, destructive relationships, and bulimia. A decade slipped away in a blur of chaos and self-destruction until a pivotal moment in my late-20s forced me to confront the reality that my chosen path was unsustainable. Thus began a decades-long journey of self-discovery and healing. From ED treatment to therapy sessions to 12-step programs, I embarked on a quest to mend what felt like broken pieces of my soul. Yet, despite fleeting moments of relief, traditional recovery programs did not work for me. Shame and powerlessness remained constant companions, echoing my tumultuous past. In my early 40s, I stumbled upon the concept of Intuitive Eating, hoping to find peace with food and my body. Then came Energy Psychology and The Law of Attraction. But even these seemingly promising approaches that initially provided some hope and temporary success proved futile, leaving me grappling with the same old demons in a new guise. In my 50s, the relentless quest to "fix" myself continued, now with a binge eating disorder diagnosis and still believing that weight loss held the key to my happiness. From grueling green juice fasts to exhaustive detoxes, I spared no effort in pursuing every conceivable avenue toward mental and physical transformation. I immersed myself in the intricacies of nutrition and devoured every self-help strategy I could find in search of a solution to my struggles with food. Yet, despite my fervent efforts, a nagging sense of discontent lingered beneath the surface and the binge eating continued. Then, like a beacon in the darkness, I discovered a new paradigm—a radical shift in perspective that shattered the chains of my past and illuminated a path to true freedom. Through the lens of this transformative approach, I found liberation from addiction and self-doubt. The Wayne Dyer quote, "change the way you look at things and the things you look at change" never felt more true. Today, in my 60s, I stand before you not as a survivor, but as a true thriver—a testament to the boundless potential that lies within each of us. As a transformational coach, I am committed to guiding others on their journey to wholeness and freedom, offering a compassionate hand to those navigating the turbulent waters of change. If you find yourself weighed down by the burdens of your past or struggling to break free from the chains of an unwanted habit or addiction, know that you are not alone. Together, we can rewrite the narrative of your life, uncovering the limitless potential that lies dormant within you. For in the depths of our darkest moments lies the spark of our greatest triumph—the unwavering light of the human spirit, shining brightly against the backdrop of adversity. With love and solidarity, Joan Strimple Transformational Coach |
AuthorJoan Strimple, Archives
June 2024
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